Five Signs You’ve Fallen Into The Friend Zone
There is nothing worse than the friend zone. One time I hung out in the friend zone for so long that I interior decorated the friend zone. I partially furnished it with a big screen tv and a lazy boy recliner. I’m never going back there again.
In order to insure that the friend zone doesn’t happen to any guy ever again, here are five signs that you have unfortunately fallen into the coitus-less abyss:
1. She tells you she’s not interested in or ready to be in a relationship
Straight up. Trust her when she says this. It’s her polite way of saying she’s not interested in or ready to be in a relationship with…YOU. Still don’t believe me? Keep reading.
2. She makes any reference to anybody else she might be seeing
Most women are not going to let a guy she’s interested in know that she’s seeing other people. There’s this fear that this sort of information would scare him away. If she’s telling you about other guys, she’s comfortable with you as a friend and not as a potential sex partner. Steer clear if she starts telling you about her exes.
3. She “suddenly” no longer returns calls/texts promptly
Promptly is defined as no later than 3 or 4 hours. In today’s age, nobody under the age of 35 has their phone turned off for more than 2 hours.
4. She makes any reference to sex she’s had before
Basically, if you haven’t at all been physical with her and she’s telling you about “that time a few years ago in the back of a truck, in the movie theater, in the closet at work,” start screaming out the “F” word. “FRIEND.”
5. Compliments about her looks or her potential as a mate is responded with a quick, forced “thanks”
Interested woman response: eye contact, accompanied by a smile, a slight blush, undetectable tingling feeling in her body: “thanks”
Uninterested woman response: back of the shoulder, accompanied by a forced and somewhat condescending smile to ease the awkwardness she’s feeling: “thanks”
There you have it guys. Next time you’re hanging out with her, keep an eye out out for these signs and stop wasting your time. As Jay-Z eloquently puts it, “on to the next one.”
